July '19
This month I took a break from blogging and the bulk of it was Mercury Retrograde. So I didn’t want to make any major life decisions that I wasn’t 100% confident in and slow down. July marked a year since I’ve been back to Perth and I wanted to reflect on it and on myself. It’s crazy to think about how I’ve been unemployed for a year. I was offered a job in Melbourne but turned it down. Although it’s an amazing opportunity and me two years ago would’ve taken it. Today I feel like it’s not the time right for me to relocate. I’ve just moved back and I still have things I need to do here.
I’ve been thinking about this, my feeling of needing to be in Perth. Feeling so secure and settled here. I’ve been judging this feeling. I’ve been comparing myself to others and it’s really heightened my insecurities and self doubt. Everyone I know wants to get out of Perth, they’ve moved to bigger cities in search for something bigger. Yes, I had my time in London to thrive in a big city. But I find myself asking “Why don’t I want bigger opportunities? Why aren’t I dreaming big? Why don’t I want to leave?” Of course I know why —I moved back to pursue ceramics and Perth is where I saw myself doing it. But I kept having this self doubt, my insecurities questioning me and telling me “Perth can’t be all that you want?” This really showed me that I’m still working on trusting myself and my own decisions but also that I’ve shadows about wanting to live in Perth. It has been brewing to the surface the past month but I’ve found that I’ve the belief that people who want to stay in their home city aren’t striving for big opportunities. Which is completely false and is just a story I’m telling myself! I’m currently reprogramming this, because this is just my shadow and insecurities speaking.
Do you feel the same about living in your home city? What insecurities have surfaced for you this month?
Last month I spoke about feeling lonely and making new friends, in June I made friends with a bunch of lovely planty people. We did a Bad Santa /White Elephant this month with plants and it was so fun! If you’re still struggling or afraid to get out there and meet new people. Start by sharing your passion and hobbies with people around you. By doing that you get to share something you love with the people you love and it also invites the both of you to explore yours and their hobbies together, so you can meet new people together. In other news, I also a plant instagram this month! A plantstagram if you will. If you love indoor plants or just want to green your feed come along and follow me @DropThosePlanties.
Also can we just take a minute to appreciate Banks’ new album! It’s so fucking good. I’ve put the whole album into this month playlist. No regrets. I love it. On repeat all day, every day. A few stand out songs would be —Contaminated, Stroke, Godless, Hawaiian Mazes, Propaganda, The Fall, If We Were Made of Water and What About Love . . . yes that’s nearly the whole album. If you haven’t already listened to it, do yourself a favour and do it.
