A Year After London
You all know why I moved to London —I needed to put myself first, be selfish, live life for myself and find myself. However, I don’t know if I’ve shared why I left London only after one year into my visa, so I thought I would share that with you today. But let’s go back to two years ago to the 11th July 2017 —the day I left Perth to move to London. The day of my flight I was crying to my mum about my Grandma. She was ill. She was the reason why I was contemplating cancelling my move to London. I was scared that I would be missing out on quality time with her. I was scared that she would pass away while I was in London. She was one of the most important women in my life and I wasn’t ready to lose her. My mum encouraged me not to think about all of that and go to London. Even though she as sad about me leaving, she knew it was something I had to do for myself and my happiness.
The flights to London were hard but I had the best time of my life there, I will always cherish my time in London and always consider it my second home. A year into I had built a new life, new home, discovered new passions and reignited old ones. But after a little holiday in Madrid for Champions League 2018, coming back home to London felt different. Something inside me shifted and it didn’t feel right to be there anymore. I kept feeling that I should be back in Perth, which was insane to me because a few weeks before I was talking about how I wanted my workplace to sponsor me and spend the next five years in London. During my time in London I was getting updates on my Grandma’s health and I guess all of the worries started to come back and my need to spend time with her and see her became stronger than the feeling of needing to be in London. I grew a lot in my year in London, I learnt a lot about myself and worked on myself so much to build my courage and belief in myself that I could be who I wanted to be and do what I wanted to do in Perth. Within the week of being back from Madrid, I had resigned and booked my flights back to Perth. My last weeks in London were bittersweet, it felt like a breakup but I knew at the end of it I would come out a better person and in a better position to make my dreams come true.
11th July 2018, I landed back in Perth and for the first few months I had mixed feelings about being back. Half of me knew I had made the right decision —I knew that I left London on a high note and that I didn’t regret any of my decisions. But another part of me felt like I was moving backwards. I was back in my parents’ house and unemployed. I felt really lonely. As I started to settle into Perth I noticed that I brought my new self back to Perth. That I wasn’t regressing into old habits which confirmed to me that I had made the right decision, that I had grown and it was now time for me to thrive in Perth. I bought myself a pottery wheel and worked towards my dreams. I also got really into Astrology and learnt how to read my Progressed Moon chart. At this time in my life my progressed moon was in Cancer. Which is a time to come back home, quite literally. Moving to prioritise family, nourishing myself, creating a safe environment, healing issues from family and tending and feeling my inner and emotional world. Which all resonated with me so much. Learning all of that reinforced the trust I have for myself, honouring and listening to my intuition and not letting anything or anyone else cloud my judgement because I will always know what’s best for me.
I’m not going to lie to you that last year has been an emotional rollercoaster, absolute hell. After five months of being back my Grandma passed away, I’ve had a lot of health issues in my family, I’ve been to more funerals than I would’ve liked to experience and I’ve been unemployed for a year. There was and still is a lot of grief, I felt like I was stuck in a rut. Stuck in a year long cycle of loosing people and fearing for the lives of my loved ones. I’ve honestly shocked myself on how well I’ve been able to process all of this and my emotions. I’ve learnt a lot from the pass year, on how to express my emotions and be vulnerable, learning to be kinder and patient with myself, worked through my insecurities, learning again that you should never have exceptions (I always do, no matter how hard I try no to) and that I’m destined to be successful at my own rate.
And then to today, 11th July 2019. Two years after London and one year of being back in Perth. Even though emotionally I’m still going through a lot and not everything is healed. I feel like today marks the end of journey. That now new doors and opportunities will be coming. I can actually feel it, I can now feel that good things are coming. I’m ready to receive new experiences and thrive. We’re also sitting right in the middle of Mercury in Retrograde which is an amazing time to slow down, reflect, rethink what you’re so attached to getting and being open to the unexpected. There will be abundance and perhaps a blast from the past. Mercury in Retrograde isn’t as scary as everyone makes it out to be. It is literally just the time in which the universe shows you what you’ve been avoiding for so long, but amplified so you can actually deal and reflect on it. So deal with your shit or it will just compound and take you to a rock bottom. I’m also starting to feel like 11 is my lucky number or a significant one in my life at least. Anyway here’s to a new and exciting journey!