Ever since moving back to Perth I’ve felt very lonely. It’s a weird thing, feeling lonely in your own city. I’m not sure how to put it into words that would be easy to understand, or if this is relatable to any of you but I’ll try to explain. I’m completely happy within myself and with my own company. But I went from being very social and meeting new people in London to settling back into my old life where a lot of my friends are at different stages in their lives. I completely understand and am so happy for everyone that they’re thriving in their lives. It’s not like I don’t see anyone. It’s not that I feel left behind or anything, I know that I’m a completely different person to who I was 2 years ago, and that my priorities and values have evolved. I know what I want for myself, what I want out of life and how to get it. I think I feel lonely because I miss the big city lifestyle, it’s as simple as just going for a pint after work on a Tuesday. Which isn’t something that happens in Perth. I just want to be doing new things, exploring and going on adventures. I don’t have a problem with going to gigs, a cafe or the cinema by myself. I do it, but I just prefer to share these experiences with someone else. Create a memory and experience with another person. That’s half the fun!
So I knew that I needed to make friends with similar interests. I don’t know about you but I think it’s harder to make friends in your own city than when you move to a new city where you know no one and have to make new friends. But that’s what I’ve done all month, I’ve made new friends! Which is so exciting, I love meeting new people, connecting over a common interest and then realising that you have so much in common. All the people I’ve met share a love for ceramics and plants surprise, surprise! I met them through instagram, facebook groups and workshops. I don’t know if I’m alone in saying this but I’ve made plenty of friends through instagram over the past few years, and most of which I’d call some of my closest friends today.
Making friends as an adult is hard, but if it’s something you want to do I would recommend going to workshops that align with your interests, joining facebook groups and instagram because people on there want to connect and meet new people who like what they like! It’s much easier to start a conversation with someone that you know shares a common interest.
The biggest thing I’ve learnt about myself this month is that —even though I consider myself an introvert and need time to recharge after a lot of socialising, I need more time socialising than down time. I can be such a homebody and if I get too comfortable in that I don’t grow, I become lazy and all the shadows I have within myself come out. I’ve integrated all these shadows and owned them but while focusing so much on my shadows I’ve neglected other parts of me that need nurturing and attention. I need to be true to myself, to my libra self and be the social person I am.
Have you ever experienced this sort of loneliness? How have you made new friends as an adult?