October '19

There has been a lot of ups and downs this month. The ups were so amazing but the downs were the lowest of the low. The events of this month almost feel like manic mood swings. Riding a high to only be hit real hard with a low. October has been a pretty good reflection of everything I’ve experienced this year into one month. It’s been intense. I was hoping that my birthday this month would signify a clean slate, an easy going year but no.

I’m not ready to get into any of it right now, as I haven’t quite fully processed it. But the main take away from the lows is that in life no matter how hard you try to prevent or stop things from happening, somethings are out of your control. Life happens. Shit gets real and you have to learn how to process your emotions, express them and have an outlet. For me that’s not the hardest part —it’s the acceptance and having to understand that this is what is supposed to happen.

The good news is that I finally have a job! I’m so happy to be working again and to have some sort of routine. It’s been over a year and half since I’ve worked full time so I’m a little nervous but mostly excited. I’m more excited to be able to put more into my ceramics and travelling, hopefully another Europe trip next year.

With all the lows this month, there has been a lot of fun. October is the start of the festive season for me. There has been a lot of celebrations so I’ve spent a lot of time with the people I love most. Spending quality time with them has made me feel stronger and supported.