You’ve heard it time and time again from me, I’m good at suppressing my emotions. I used to push my emotions away, find away to distract myself and try to escape. By suppressing my emotions caused by body to hold pain, especially in my gut and stomach area. This was a sign for me to fully put in the work to allow myself to feel. To release the guilt and shame I had over being vulnerable. I’ve been working on this for the longest time, to increasingly become aware of my actions, thoughts and emotions.

The root of it all is that I was scared to show who I was emotionally. I knew that I’m a sensitive person, but I saw sensitivity as weakness. I was afraid of my authentic self. Isn’t that the craziest thing to realise by someone who is constantly trying to work on themselves, to be authentic! Also I always felt that by sharing my feelings with others I was burdening them, and I never wanted to make others feel sad. This is where my people pleasing tendencies show. I’m a highly sensitive person. I take on others emotions. For example if my friend is telling me about some of the hardships they’re experiencing in their family, I take on their emotions and carry it with me. Then these emotions merge with my own, to a point where I can no longer differentiate if these are my own feelings or others. Because of this, I assumed everyone else was like me. Wrong, I was wrong. Pretty much all of my friends are capable of showing empathy without fully taking on another’s emotions without making it their own.

The work I had to do was to recognise my shadows, embody them and own them. Allowing myself to open up to my emotions, no longer gave my shadows power. I no longer felt guilt and shame over expressing myself. I had to practice self and emotional sovereignty, embracing a conscious relationship with yourself, your soul, all of you. Having the awareness to allow yourself to shift out of that negative emotion into a positive one. You’re no longer a ‘victim’ of that emotion. You have recognised it, embodied it and let it go. Acknowledging how you feel and tell yourself that is okay embracing your emotions is so freeing.

My main advice for anyone working on embracing your emotions is scheduling time to feel out that emotion. If you’re used to suppressing your emotions, expressing them can be scary. If you can’t or won’t allow yourself to feel it at the moment you feel it, schedule it in, instead of obsessing and trying validate it in your head which you will torture yourself with for months. If something comes up at work and makes you feel unworthy but you don’t want to go for a short walk to feel it out or go cry in the bathroom which are both something I would recommend. Instead you want to deal with it after work, completely fine too. Once you’re at home set a timer if you need to, to really release all that emotion —cry, scream, lie in bed with sad music. Whatever you need. Setting aside some time and putting on a timer to feel it out is a good way to recognise and release your emotions. It’s the same as booking in time with a therapist. Putting aside an hour to have a deep, emotional conversation, to let it all out. We feel safer in this environment because we know that we’re only it that emotional space because it is limited. Once you’re used to embracing your emotions, you’re letting go of the guilt and shame that came along with it. You will be able to and will allow yourself to embody your emotions as soon as they come up.

Is this something that you’re struggling with too? How are you working through it?